


Something's Gotta Give

by MatrixMarvel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Endgame Feels, Established Relationship, F/M, Mild Angst, Moving On, Not A Fix-It, Or trying to, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), endgame emotionally wrecked everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 16:56:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatrixMarvel/pseuds/MatrixMarvel
Summary: WARNING: ENDGAME SPOILERS!!At a charity event, you need some air and starts to feel guilty about running away from the team five years ago. Luckily, Bucky is on hand to give you some advice.





	Something's Gotta Give

You never were one for these types of events, the one’s where the rich and famous would saunter through the halls to the ballroom in their expensive dresses and fancy suits. High pitched squeals from the ladies who they’d probably seen that morning, loud compliments on what they wore. Plucking champagne flutes from the waiters so effortlessly serving it, making their rounds around the room. More laughter, reminiscing on events that undoubtedly only happened last week in the Hamptons or wherever the upper class seemed to vacation these days.

  
Still, you had to make an appearance because you were contracted to, as were the other members of the Avengers you knew for a fact that you weren’t the only one who didn’t want to be here tonight. Making the rounds earlier almost made your blood boil, these people seemed to forget what had happened only a few short months ago, already moving on with their lives like nothing had happened over the past five years. Fake smiles and firm handshakes were your best friend as you greeted them one by one, all for a show, for the cameras secretly hiding what you felt inside.

  
The night seemed to drag, the pitch of people’s voices seemed to increase with the amount of alcohol they were consuming, God, you wished alcohol could drown your sorrows right about now, as the worlds third super soldier you knew that it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Looking around, everyone seemed to be having a good time, laughing and joking, drinking and dancing, forgetting the man that had allowed them to be here tonight was no longer in the world. The world had moved on already, a feeling of déjà vu swept through you, a similar situation back when Thanos had wiped out half the Earth’s population.

  
You couldn’t stand to be in the room any longer with these rich, snobby people flouncing their money about just because they could and had lots of it. So, you decided to sneak out of the charity even before anyone could spot you doing so and find yourself being reeled back into that world you hated. Hitting the streets of New York, your feet took you to a place you often visited since being reunited with the Avengers and learning what it had taken to reverse Thanos’ actions. You tried not to dwell on it, thinking about the memories you had created over the past years with the people you called family. They would always be your family.

  
A small park was coming up on your right and you entered it without even having to think about it, it was a well-walked route by now. You wondered if you’d seen _him_ here tonight as you sat on the same bench you always sat on when you visited this place, looking slightly out of place with a long navy-blue evening dress on but you couldn’t care less. The hour was late and nobody was around, perfect for another round of self-reflection.

  
After Steve had delivered the news to you about Bucky’s death, you had cried and mourned while the Super Solider apologised over and over again, keeping an ever-tight hold on you. Your Bucky had gone, you thought you were never going to see the man you loved again, and your world had started to crumble around you. It hadn’t felt real, nothing felt real at that moment apart from Steve’s words echoing in your head, out of all the people in the world, Bucky hadn’t deserved to go. Given everything he had gone through, it had taken a lot for Bucky to trust someone he didn’t know but he had wanted you to help him get to Europe. It had been all too much to handle and so in the dead of night, you had left, no word, no explanation just a packed bag to get away from it all, you needed time and space to think and process.

  
Over the course of the five years, you knew you shouldn’t have just upped and left in the middle of the night. It was selfish of you because you knew the team would be trying to figure out a way to undo the damage Thanos had done and you were still part of that team. There was no way you could’ve gone back to them after you had betrayed them like you had, vengeance hadn’t even crossed your mind but the thought of protecting yourself from the harsh world had. Even when you had heard that Tony had come back to Earth, it still didn’t persuade you to seek them out. Nothing would. Your whole life had been ruined.

  
You had fallen off the grid, a ghost in the chaotic world but you were always thankful for being alive because some people hadn’t had that choice. It had been made for them. Life had been simple, no-one tried to find you, but the guilt still haunted you every day and maybe, just maybe if the team found a solution you possibly thought about going back to them. If they would have you that is, after all, you hadn’t exactly contributed to reversing the damage. That was until you heard on the news that the Avengers had reversed the effects of Thanos’ snap and with it, the world’s greatest sacrifice.

  
Across the park, you saw a figure step out of the shadows of the moonlight and into your view, the additional presence didn’t bother you at this hour for you knew who this person was and you had they had no intention of harming you. It was the old man of course and he sat himself down on the bench under the park light, revealing faint features of his face, underneath the hood he was wearing. This was a man who didn’t want to be known, a man who had seen a lot in his time on this planet and just like you he wanted a quiet space. Perhaps to reflect on his life, relive the memories he had created. He glanced up and made eye contact with you before he gave you a smile, forming even more wrinkles on his weathered face.

  
You smiled in return, glad to see Steve was out and about tonight maybe you could have a quick conversation with him, it had been a while since you had. But you knew he didn’t like to draw attention to himself, even if it was with a woman in a park in the late hours of the night. He’d lived his life peacefully, it was all he’d ever wanted, and it was what he deserved in this crazy world. Although words spoken between you and him were few and far in between, just being able to see his face occasionally gave you the reassurance that he was happy.

  
Despite your current thoughts, it gave you a warm feeling deep inside your stomach but knowing not everyone had survived still shook you to your core. It had been the reason you needed to get out of that awful room and you knew that you would never come to terms with their deaths but it was the high price that had been paid. Tears escaped your eyes, they had given their lives to ensure that those lost would be reunited with their loved ones, something that would haunt you every day. Especially since Tony had been the one to take you in all those years ago like you had been his own daughter.

  
The cold breeze that blew over you caused you to shiver slightly. Desperate to get out of the room you had been in you had mistakenly forgotten to pick up the coat you had attended the ghastly event in. The old man opposite you picked up on your sudden posture chance, his features softening slightly added with the sight of you crying. He had always thought highly of you since the day he had met you, a strong, independent woman perfect for the Avengers’ Initiative. Looking at him, you thought he was going to come over and sit on your bench but when it looked like he was about to stand up he stopped himself, the reason soon followed.

  
“Thought I might find you here, doll.” A rich voice sounded; one you knew well.

  
You glanced in the direction it came from and saw your man heading towards you, a worried expression plastered across his face. You said nothing as he took a seat beside you, continuing to look at your thighs, unsure of the words you wanted to use.

  
“Just needed to get out of there, Bucky.” You said quietly.

  
“Yeah, me too.” He agreed, lazily stretching an arm on the back of the bench behind you.

  
Tears continued to roll down your cheeks as you silently mourned the ones who were no longer in your life. Bucky would know you were crying, the old man would know you were crying too, unable to let go of them. He put his arm around your shoulders in an attempt to console you, pulling you slightly close to him allowing you to take in his scent in your nostrils. Feeling his warm touch on your skin sent a shiver down your spine, your skin had climatized to the cold by now. As a result, Bucky jerked his arm away quickly causing you to look at him, thinking you had offended him in some way but instead he was taking off his suit jacket. Bucky carefully wrapped it around your shoulders, before leaving his arm around you once more. That, plus the heat radiating off him was instantly warming you up.

  
“I miss them, Bucky.” You mumbled sadly, resting your head on his chest before you reached over to take his vibranium hand, fingers intertwining, and Bucky gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

  
“Oh, baby girl I know.” Bucky cooed, pulling you closer to him. “Me too.”

  
What was left of the Avengers had come to this function tonight but deep down you knew the team was broken, even after coming together to fight Thanos once more. Sure, there was still enough members to form such a team, but it wouldn’t be the same without its two most important leaders. Since the big battle that had destroyed the Compound the remaining Avengers who didn’t have a home to go back to ended up staying at Stark Tower, no one had even offered to step up and lead. It wasn’t that no one was capable it was the fact that no one wanted to, the events were still too fresh in everyone’s mind.

  
“I wish I coulda done more. I was a coward for leaving.” You chastised yourself, not daring to look at him because he would see the guilt in your eyes.

  
“Baby, everyone dealt with what happened in a different way. No one is calling you a coward.” Bucky gave your shoulders a comforting squeeze.

  
“But look at Steve.” You started. “He lost a hell of a lot more than me and he still managed to find a way to carry on. A plan to reverse what happened. I’ll never be as strong as he was. He almost died, Buck.” A tear escaped your eye and Bucky gently let go of your hand to wipe it away, his thumb lingered on your cheek.

  
“Don’t compare yourself to him, doll. You’re not him, you’re you. The woman who went through hell and back for me, who lead HYDRA astray so they couldn’t catch up to me. I’ll always be grateful for that, sweetheart. It musta been so scary for you when I vanished, I’d only just got you back.” Bucky pressed a chaste kiss against your forehead, the sentiment brightened your mood but only by a little.

  
“I ran because I was scared. My head was all over the place, losing you Buck, thinking HYDRA were gonna capture me again. I couldn’t stay in the Compound and help deal with what happened. It was too high profile.” You leaned back into him, to a place you knew you were safe.

  
“Doll, if you woulda gone and not me. I would do the same too. Sometimes, I get scared HYDRA’s gonna find me too.”

  
“Don’t even know why they let me stay in the tower. I don’t deserve it.” You sobbed into his white dress shirt, staining it with your tears.

  
“What did you always say to me?” Bucky asked. “When I was feelin’ low.”

  
You knew the answer of course; you’d said it to him countless times in the past because it was the one thing that had always kept you going through the darkest of times.  
“That you’re my family.” You replied.

  
“Exactly, baby. And they are too. Pepper isn’t exactly gonna kick you out, nor is Sam, Wanda or any of those guys. Believe it or not, you saved the world from me.” He told you.  
HYDRA had gotten a hold of you two years prior to when Bucky had evaded captured at the Triskellion, unbeknownst to you, you had been on their radar for some time with your renowned tracking abilities. Add a little serum into your body and you had been good to go. You had two choices, comply or die so you opted to comply and finding Bucky had been tricky but when you had, you had always thrown them off. Telling them that Bucky was in a different location to where he was, then you would go and make the place look like it had been left in a hurry like Bucky had just escaped from your grasp. When Bucky had been framed for the bombing in Vienna, you hadn’t revealed his location and instead had gone straight to Bucky, ignoring your protocols. You had known Bucky because you had begun to track his targets before he had taken off.

  
He let his hand fall from your face and placed it over yours which was still resting on his thigh.

  
“I don’t know what to do.” You said with a heavy sigh. “If I go, I’ll be abandoning them again.” You sighed. “But I can’t stay. It’s too painful.” You looked down at your thighs, covered by your floor-length midnight blue dress you were wearing.

  
“What does your heart tell you?”

  
His comment made you look at him. “To be happy or try to be.”

  
“What makes you happy?”

  
“You.” You answered without even thinking about it.

  
Your answer told you everything you needed to know, Bucky was your happiness ever since you had laid eyes on him, and he continued to be it after you had found each other again. There was no doubt that both of you were still healing from the devastating consequences of saving the world and his best friend had finally found a peaceful life. But perhaps to be able to heal it might mean the two of you needed to get away for a while, rediscover yourselves, your relationship and maybe, just maybe you’d both be able to live a happy and prosperous life.

  
Over the past couple of months, Bucky had dropped subtle hints to you that he no longer wanted to fight, and you totally understood that. He was tired of war, doing the dirty work for other people and for whose benefit, certainly not his. Since Bucky had his trigger words removed, he had a chance of living a normal life, well as normal as it could be given the circumstances. But you knew it was your ties to the team which was keeping him here with you, if he had the chance, Bucky would’ve whipped you away a long time ago.

  
“Where’s your head at, beautiful?” Bucky’s sweet voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you realised you had stared off into the distance.

  
“What if we did leave?” You asked, looking at him. “Made a new life for ourselves.”

  
“Well, I wouldn’t oppose to that, doll.”

 

A smile grew on your face. “Really?”

  
Bucky responded by planting a soft kiss on your lips. “Really.” He smiled after pulling away. “C’mon, how about we grab some dinner and start makin’ some plans?”

  
“Sounds like a plan, honey.” Bucky gave you a kiss on your cheek before making a move to stand up. He held out his hand for you to take to help you up, his chivalry was something you’d never tire off, it was distinctively unique about him. Once you were on your feet his arm slipped around your waist and you saw him glance at something over his shoulder before he turned his attention back to you.

  
“You spoken to him tonight?” Bucky asked.

  
“No, not tonight. Seeing him has eased my conscious though.”

  
“Yeah.” He breathed. “Me too. C'mon, doll.”

  
Before he stepped off, however, Bucky turned to the old man again and held up his hand in greeting and the man on the bench did the exact same. No words were needed to be spoken, Bucky knew the old man had heard every word of his private conversation with you and he was okay with that. Besides if it hadn’t been for him, Bucky would’ve have been given a second chance at a life again. Bucky hoped that he’d be able to live a flourishing life with you, just like the old man had with the love of his life too. He also knew that the old man would want nothing more from him. After all, the little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight, Bucky would always follow him. Even if that meant following him in his footsteps towards a better life.

  
Bucky missed Steve and probably always will. He knew Peggy was always the woman for him and he had guessed what Steve was going to do before Steve had a chance to tell him, Bucky had been his best friend after all. The conversation had come with a little disagreement about why Steve had decided not to come back after putting the stones back, Bucky hadn’t wanted his friend to go. But after a lengthy conversation, Bucky heard his reasons and understood why, they were two men out of their own time, just wanting to move on with their lives.

  
All Bucky needed to do for that was right beside him, loving him, cherishing him and working together with him to achieve the dreams they wished for. Bucky wanted nothing more because you were his whole life and more, nothing would ever change that.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I came up with after watching Endgame. I'm probably in the minority here, but I liked the ending Steve had, although I did wish Bucky and Steve got a lot more screen time together.  
> Please go easy on me, it's my first time posting on this site. :)


End file.
